Making the Darkness Conscious


Sitting – or more like staring uninterrupted – as if into night’s vast sky

You pause from the torment of tears that newly defines your once insulated life

It has been only days – but feels like years – no longer defined by time or space

The sofa – firm, but soft enough to hold the wobble in your bones – cradles you

The orange Buddha candle flickers through the darkness of the living room

A living room no longer – newly inhabited by your flailing heart

Lost – you fall silent to the sink hole now called your life

Catching the light – Buddha’s face pulsates between your breaths

Ignited – not just by a candle from within – but an unanswered call

It happened – “I died” you say – with no one there to listen

A death – not in body – but in a Self – full of false projections

All that has come to define you burns away – as a wet fog from the rising sun

Now naked of everything – that once described you

Your lifelong prayer finally comes to be heard

Not in the flair of fireworks – or the church bells of a Nirvana from beyond

Nor from a bliss state expressed by the experiences of so many others

You instead – wake up to the reality – of your lifetime of sleep

And sitting – or more like staring uninterrupted – as if into night’s vast sky

You fall fast awake


buddha candle j tamar stone



  1. I awoke lightly at 1:29am, just now, and opened my PC to express my dreaming thoughts, as if they would vanish unless I caught them in flight. As I read your wonderful poem, it coincides with my dream thoughts, “I am the alpha and the omega.” We are spirits light having a human experience of dark. We are always and already the Big Mind, the Big Heart, the Big Oneness…. and we forget.
    As we contemplate the essence meaning of quantum physics, we see what it is to be particle and possibility at the same time. As we identify with one voice, we are always and already all voices, like a choice. We are the song and the song sheet. We are the music and the instrument. We play as we are being played. Our consciousness flits from one to the other. Ommm….

  2. Hi Tamar,

    I like what you wrote very much. It resonates with me at this time in my life.

    Best Regards


  3. So beautiful Tamar. Thanks for sharing. I am so grateful to have this connection with you.

  4. I join the many other voices who are touched by Your exquisite writing!
    Soulful sharing… from a soulful Friend!
    Thanks for your letting us into… the depth of You.

  5. Freeman

    Deep. Naked. So awake. . . .

    Thank you, Tamar, for this hauntingly beautiful expression of your realness.

  6. Absolutely exquisite! A treasure! Soul touching! This may well be the most powerful description of “making the darkness conscious” that I’ve ever read.
    Go Tamar!!!
    Much, much love,

  7. Tamar

    I so appreciate you and your depth of wisdom and sensitivity!

    Very good timing-as I am shining light into some very old darkness these days.


  8. Touched to my core……..
    Wandering about the death of a self?
    Do selves die?
    so looking forward in connecting soon.

  9. Thank you Tamar for such beautiful, touching makes circles in my being as if a stone has been thrown inside a lake .
    looking forward to connect soon !

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